Monday, March 27, 2017

Love after Love (by Derek Walcott, 1930-2017)

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another; who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Part of Your Soul, on a Table

Few things can ground self-awareness of your inner life like setting aside sacred space in your home--or in nature. One of the pages in the “Ritual Resources” sidebar to the right is about creating personal altars.

Personal altars, at their best, are visible maps of the invisible world within us. Sometimes they can express what's happening inside better than any words we can find. Sitting before an altar where you've placed objects that represent key experiences, deep beliefs, people you love, you may find yourself surprised at what it's telling you. Listen to your altar. It knows more than you do.

Here is the first of what I hope will become a series of shared images of some of these shrines, with or without words from the men who’ve created them. If you've made an altar and would like to share a photo and/or words about what it means to you, the objects you keep there, the practice you’ve created around it, please contact me!

Here are two photos of StarDancer’s altar. He is a shaman and sacred intimate who lives and practices in St. Louis.

“My altar is a repurposed piece of furniture that I’ve had since childhood. It used to have legs, doors, and a blonde finish...and likely could have been valuable in a different way had it remained unaltered and not become my altar!

“It lives in my sanctuary room, where I conduct SI sessions. It holds objects of various kinds from my journey into spirituality and Sacred Intimacy. I rearrange the objects occasionally. Sometimes I pass them on to another in ritual or as a gift.”

Wednesday, March 15, 2017


What if Christians started using their theological resources to celebrate the full range of possible loving relationships, instead of obsessing endlessly over one constricting paradigm of marriage?
The following quotation comes from a meditation by Cynthia Bourgeault for March 15, copyright and distributed by Richard Rohr’s Center for Action and Contemplation:

“Ternary systems have three independent forces coming together to form something new, a fourth thing. Perhaps the simplest example is a braid. You need at least three sections of hair for a braid to hold; the braid is then a new creation. The interweaving of threeness results in something that didn’t exist before. It is not just a swinging back and forth between two old things that were already there, but a drive into a brand new dimension.
“While a binary system is by nature stable and symmetrical a ternary system is asymmetrical and innovative. Unlike a pendulum, it cannot come to equilibrium within its own orbit; it seeks stability in a new plane, through a resolution that is at the same time a new arising. It corkscrews its way through time, matter, form--whatever plane is at hand--in a riot of uncertainty and new combinations, the whole of which is the fullness of divine reality.”
Photos: from Howard Roffman's Three, and the Rublev Trinity (14th century)

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

An Invitation into Community

What happens in sacred erotic space where you’re safe to give voice to the deepest longings of your body, mind, and soul?

What does a community of queer brothers look like who commit to holding that space for one another?
What tangible, embodied practice can you imagine creating for yourself to honor and bear witness to what’s within you?
This coming August 10-13, come spend three days in the natural beauty of Western Maryland at StoneSong Retreat Center. Experience the sweetness of living in intentional community with a band of spiritually and erotically alive men who have faith that what we discover together will be bigger, richer, and way more fun than what we could ever build on our own.

Together, we’ll build a sacred community, open up to one another in heart circles, explore the places in our lives where sex and spirit meet, create personal shrines and spiritual practices for ourselves. We’ll honor and celebrate the differences among us and joyfully explore what we share. Together, we’ll develop communal ritual to express the spiritual and erotic joys, sorrows, aspirations, and hopes of all.
Frank Dunn and I will lead “The Stonesong Retreat: Honoring our Bodies, Feeding Our Souls.” We were humbled and overjoyed at the creativity, heart, soul, honesty, and courage of the men who joined us last year. This year’s program will incorporate some of the same elements--who doesn’t want to spend a summer afternoon playing in a mud pit?--and add new surprises.
The cost of the retreat, inclusive of room and board, ranges from US $485 to $695, depending on the choice of accommodation. More information on location and logistics, and the online registration form, are available at