Split a piece of wood, and I am there.
Lift up the stone, and you will find me there.
--Gospel of Thomas, Logion 77
Welcome to a space for the spirituality of gay and bisexual men. We have within ourselves the resources for our healing, liberation, and growth. Connecting with each other, we encounter the grace to lay hold of a richer, juicier life. Losing ourselves in deep play, we rediscover the bigger, freer, more joyous selves we're capable of becoming. Here I share my interest in personal and communal ritual, making art that expresses my inner life, and an intentional practice of erotic spirituality.
Monday, May 29, 2017
Friday, May 19, 2017
Honoring Flesh, Honoring Spirit: Paul Rosenberg
This meditation is
the work of Paul Rosenberg, the funny, wise, playful, and eloquent founder of the extraordinary tribe
that is Rain City Jacks. It’s reblogged here with his permission from the group's website.
Honor the Penis
Repeat after me: This is my penis. It is part of me. It grows from me and extends into me. This penis is beautiful. My penis is a source of my joy. I know my penis. I care for my penis. My penis motivates me and moves me. My penis feels good. My penis feels wonderful. The pleasure of my penis radiates into and all through my body. My penis teaches me focus. My penis teaches me self-possession. My penis belongs to me and I command it. I am in charge of my penis. My penis is a reflection of my confidence, my maleness, my physical and mental health. My penis leads me to pleasure. My penis leads me to love. I love my penis. I love my beautiful penis. I honor my penis and will never take it for granted. I promise to treat my penis well for as long as life allows me to be with it. I promise to take good care of my penis. I choose to share my penis, but my penis will always belong to me. I love my beautiful penis.
A lifetime ago, a time you can not and will never remember, a baby boy explored the world with wide-open eyes, a tasting mouth and reaching, grasping fingers. He was an experience sponge, taking in unimaginable quantities of information and learning, learning, learning from all of it. He took it all in and put his world, his life, his self in order according to those experiences. He is every baby boy.
And the reaching, grasping hand naturally, rightly fell between his legs and found his penis. It was not separate from him. Nothing was. Everything was him and he was everything. He was pure experience without subject or object and everything was more experience. His penis felt good when he touched it.
And sometime in those early years, someone big and powerful took his hands and began to divert them away from his penis, began to separate him from it with actions, words, spoken and unspoken intentions and with clothing. This too, is every baby boy.
Before sex was feeling and touching our penises was always a good feeling. Like all humans we naturally return to what feels good and push away what feels bad but this good feeling was not appropriate to our civilizations. Virtually every human society separates baby boys from their penises and even though virtually every boy finds his way back, that separation is always part of him.
We can not erase our fundamental understanding of the universe, and that is what we are sorting out as babies. What is this experience we call life? What am I and what are you? The answers we get as babies, learned through gentle directions of those far bigger and more powerful than us are permanent. We can revise, extend, reconfigure those knowings, but they are always in us.
My penis is a vital, literally vital part of life. It is my primordial connection to all men, all apes, all primates, all mammals, all animals and all life. The separation I was taught can not overcome that basic reality of my body and my species. I can not and will not abandon my penis to the fear of sex that was foisted upon me as an infant.
I claim my penis now, today, tomorrow and as long as I live. It is fundamentally good and inseparable from me. I will honor it with my loving touch, my full attention, my caressing and stroking. I will grant it orgasms and ride upon the waves of joy emanating from it. I will rest with it, wait with it, bring it with me everywhere and I will love it and every part of my life because my life is a precious, transient gift.
Reclaim and take full, joyful possession of your own beautiful penis every day. Love it, stroke it, bring it to orgasm and get to know it in exquisite detail. This is what you are sharing with your fellow man and woman, your personal self, your beloved, beautiful, confident, healthy penis. I will share mine with you and together we will experience the precious, bittersweet ecstasy of life for a moment or a lifetime.
Honor the Penis
Repeat after me: This is my penis. It is part of me. It grows from me and extends into me. This penis is beautiful. My penis is a source of my joy. I know my penis. I care for my penis. My penis motivates me and moves me. My penis feels good. My penis feels wonderful. The pleasure of my penis radiates into and all through my body. My penis teaches me focus. My penis teaches me self-possession. My penis belongs to me and I command it. I am in charge of my penis. My penis is a reflection of my confidence, my maleness, my physical and mental health. My penis leads me to pleasure. My penis leads me to love. I love my penis. I love my beautiful penis. I honor my penis and will never take it for granted. I promise to treat my penis well for as long as life allows me to be with it. I promise to take good care of my penis. I choose to share my penis, but my penis will always belong to me. I love my beautiful penis.
A lifetime ago, a time you can not and will never remember, a baby boy explored the world with wide-open eyes, a tasting mouth and reaching, grasping fingers. He was an experience sponge, taking in unimaginable quantities of information and learning, learning, learning from all of it. He took it all in and put his world, his life, his self in order according to those experiences. He is every baby boy.
And the reaching, grasping hand naturally, rightly fell between his legs and found his penis. It was not separate from him. Nothing was. Everything was him and he was everything. He was pure experience without subject or object and everything was more experience. His penis felt good when he touched it.
And sometime in those early years, someone big and powerful took his hands and began to divert them away from his penis, began to separate him from it with actions, words, spoken and unspoken intentions and with clothing. This too, is every baby boy.
Before sex was feeling and touching our penises was always a good feeling. Like all humans we naturally return to what feels good and push away what feels bad but this good feeling was not appropriate to our civilizations. Virtually every human society separates baby boys from their penises and even though virtually every boy finds his way back, that separation is always part of him.
We can not erase our fundamental understanding of the universe, and that is what we are sorting out as babies. What is this experience we call life? What am I and what are you? The answers we get as babies, learned through gentle directions of those far bigger and more powerful than us are permanent. We can revise, extend, reconfigure those knowings, but they are always in us.
My penis is a vital, literally vital part of life. It is my primordial connection to all men, all apes, all primates, all mammals, all animals and all life. The separation I was taught can not overcome that basic reality of my body and my species. I can not and will not abandon my penis to the fear of sex that was foisted upon me as an infant.
I claim my penis now, today, tomorrow and as long as I live. It is fundamentally good and inseparable from me. I will honor it with my loving touch, my full attention, my caressing and stroking. I will grant it orgasms and ride upon the waves of joy emanating from it. I will rest with it, wait with it, bring it with me everywhere and I will love it and every part of my life because my life is a precious, transient gift.
Reclaim and take full, joyful possession of your own beautiful penis every day. Love it, stroke it, bring it to orgasm and get to know it in exquisite detail. This is what you are sharing with your fellow man and woman, your personal self, your beloved, beautiful, confident, healthy penis. I will share mine with you and together we will experience the precious, bittersweet ecstasy of life for a moment or a lifetime.
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Part of Your Soul, on a Table: Christopher's Altar, in His Words
My
Personal Sacred Space
David
introduced me to the idea of a personal altar a number of years ago. It is an idea that tucked itself away in a
corner of my brain. Occasionally, it
would pop out of the corner, and then return.
Last summer, I moved into my own apartment. It is wonderful to be in a space that I can
call my own, and into which I can set up my own processes.
After a brilliant time last summer
at the StoneSong Retreat, the idea of a personal altar pushed forward with
increasing frequency. Perhaps it was the
gift of a Ganesha at the beginning of the retreat that helped me to entertain
this idea more concretely.
Through contacts in my hometown, I
was introduced to a local carpenter – a home renovator by day, and artisan
woodworker by night. As I described my
idea, JK became more intrigued and excited.
I left the idea with him for a few weeks. A call came.
He had found a piece of wood he thought might work for the top. And so, I met the quilted maple that became
the table. I wanted a “live edge” and
the slab of maple had a beautiful one.
There is a knot from a branch that is actually light rather than the
usual dark interruption. There is
spalting to add more texture. While it
said “ah, yes” in its rough state, when it was finished this wood now sings. As we talked in his workshop, JK became truly
engaged in the idea and suddenly, a wood called Purpleheart from Brazil would
become the legs, and dark walnut would become the shelf I hoped for. JK would detail the mortise and tenon of the
shelf into the leg and wedge it with maple.
We agreed to finish it with beeswax so the wood could continue to
breathe. All agreed, I left JK to his
work. The result is more than beautiful
than I imagined. This was a first
project of this kind for JK, and I think he was inspired. David has written that sometimes we find Life
in unexpected places. I think this is
one of those moments – for both JK and me.
I feel blessed to have met this excellent young craftsman.
So now, my altar sits in my dressing
room. This is the room deepest in my
apartment space, and furthest from the living room and kitchen, and murmur of
street traffic below. It is quiet and
can be totally dark when I close the door.
It is where I dress, and truth to tell, am most often naked. I am starting to spend some longer time in
this space (thanks to a small chair that I have placed there – creaky old bones
need help!). I can breathe and be open,
and stand (or sit) naked in front of my altar, and sometimes I start my edging
there in front of my altar. It is a
place where I try to bring my spiritual self and my sexual self into closer
connection.
There are two levels to my
altar. I am working on the interplay
between the upper and lower levels – some things below are deeply important and
formative, some are things that I am still unpacking. The shelf is important. There is a mala that was gifted to me by a
wonderful woman when I retired. The amethyst
geode and necklace remind me of the earth and are my birthstone in different
forms. The Icon of St Christopher is
partly a reminder of my own responsibility as a man. The inukshuk was a gift from a spiritual
family when I retired and moved to my new town and life. As an inukshuk is composed of many stones and
is a guide post, this one grounds me in a sense of many “home” places, and so
guides me back to a centre. The table
has two crucifixes – one was a gift from Oberammergau, the other is one that I
acquired while studying in England.
There is a lingam and yoni that I have been blessed to have anointed
with a dear, dear friend who lies deep in my heart. The singing bowl and candle are there as
light and sound. A small Buddha
meditating, and the Ganesha rest on the top as aspects of spirituality that are
new and intriguing me.
This is my altar as it stands
now. I like to think of it as dynamic
and growing more sacred as I use it. It
will change as I do. The Rublev Icon is
new. I am learning to think of the
Trinity as a positive dynamic force in the world calling me (and others, I
hope) to be positive and dynamic too. I
pray this altar will help me to become a small part of that energy.
This post is part of a series in which men share the personal sacred spaces they've created, how they use them, what they mean. I invite you to share a photograph of your own altar or sanctuary, and your words describing it. -- David
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