Anchorhold

Welcome to a space for the spirituality of gay and bisexual men. We have within ourselves the resources for our healing, liberation, and growth. Connecting with each other, we encounter the grace to lay hold of a richer, juicier life. Losing ourselves in deep play, we rediscover the bigger, freer, more joyous selves we're capable of becoming. Here I share my interest in personal and communal ritual, making art that expresses my inner life, and an intentional practice of erotic spirituality.

Sunday, May 18, 2025

And Now for Something Completely Different

The Cloister of Norwich Cathedral

After spinning my wheels forever, I've taken the plunge into self-publishing the novel I started writing over twenty years ago. Palmetto Publishing will distribute The Ram in the Thicket: A Novel of Medieval Norwich, in print-on-demand and e-book formats. I'm hoping some independent brick-and-mortar stores might also take it up.

What does an historical novel have to do with this blog? First of all, it's about people struggling for spiritual integrity in a complex, flawed world; about the triumph of love over dogma; and about the survival of oppressed minorities in the face of abusive power. And there's a thread of homoerotic attachment between two of the supporting characters. (But don't get your hopes up for a steamy sex scene.)

I'm a retired professor of medieval literature. So I'm used to writing books that nobody reads and that don't make any money. I'll be happy if my story gets into the hands of a few hundred people. I'll be delighted if it reaches more.

Ahead of the book launch, I've just published the first instalment of my new Substack--Imagining the World of Julian of Norwich. I'll post further pieces there about the story's historical background, along with reflections on the essential role of imagination in all knowledge of the past.

I hope you'll follow this link to my Substack. If you do, please consider leaving a comment there, and please consider subscribing. It's free, and there won't be a quiz. If you know someone who might also be interested, please share the link.

Thursday, May 15, 2025

Enshrining the Household Gods

Yesterday, our seasonal arrival at the "summer place." There's enormous privilege in having two homes, one in a city I've always loved, and one in a place imbued with its own green magic.

Unpacking takes only an hour or two after our long-habitual transitions. But most important this morning was setting up the garden shrine dedicated to God Knows Who.

Placing the statue of Ganesh on the grid of a few loose bricks. The stones for the Four Directions. The bronze cross I salvaged from a house that was about to be demolished. The Shiva Lingam.

God Knows Why I'm paying reverence here to God Knows Who.

What I do know: when I'm lighting a cone of incense or a cube of camphor in one of the little unglazed clay lamps, I come into a state of integration. When I ring the brass temple bell that a beloved brother gifted to me last summer, my mind, my heart, my cock, my soul all work together in this little act of reverence toward the One Who Hears. I'm whole. I'm present. I'm comforted.

Friday, May 2, 2025

All I Need to Know

It's raining. Slowly and steadily. We need it--it's been a dry two weeks at a time when leaves need water to burgeon. And all I can say is, thank you, God.

Does it depend on what we mean by God? I don't think so. Maybe it depends on Who we mean by God. And the answer that I believe is wired into our souls is, who we mean, is You. That's all I know, and all I need to know.

A You who has a thousand names, but no name comprehends Him/Her/Them. Who is beyond our limited notions of human self. But who envelops us, completely. The Womb of Creation. The Sacred Staff of Life's Longing for Itself. The Luminous Void from which all things arise. If those metaphors speak to you. And if they don't, go out and find the ones that do.

Sacred Intimacy: Companionship in Spiritual and Erotic Healing

Different practitioners use the term "Sacred Intimacy" to mean different things. It's important to remember that Sacred Intimacy work is different from therapy, and can't replace therapy. I'm not a therapist. I don't claim to offer services in any officially regulated modality. (Some Sacred Intimates are also practicing therapists, but they're clear with themselves and with clients which modality they're working in.) Put simply, I offer heart-centered companionship and deep listening.

For me, first and foremost, Sacred Intimacy means that what passes between us is holy. It's filled and enlivened with the presence of the Divine. I will do my best to be as present to you, as available to you for your good, as I'm capable of being. My intention is to be open to working in whatever modality we agree will be helpful to you. A session begins with a short conversation in which you explain to me where you're at, and what you hope to take away from our time together.

The emphasis is on healing, growth, and the expansion of your life. You may, for example, have issues of erotic shame that you want to work on, or grief, or body image, or intimacy. I may ask for clarifications and make suggestions. Together we agree on the starting point for the experiential work that will follow.

A session might unfold through breathwork, guided meditation, bodywork, intentionally focused erotic interaction, creative movement, the shared creation of ritual, artistic practice, psychodynamic role playing, or some combination.

I can't hope to be of service to you unless I feel competent in the role I assume, and unless I have the sense that what we do has potential to help you move forward with your declared intention. So our initial conversation may involve some give and take around what's possible and what's useful.

It's essential for your integrity and mine that we maintain full confidentiality and respect one another's boundaries. We enter into sacred space together at the beginning of a session. We leave sacred space at the end, and what's happened within the safe container of the session remains distinct from any interactions we might have before or after the session. What happens in the session stays in the session.

Every Sacred Intimate has his own understanding of the nature of his work. Just below you'll find a series of links to the web pages of a number of Sacred Intimates working in various cities and areas.

What's an Anchorhold?

For centuries in Europe, a handful of men and women took a vow to devote themselves to the cultivation of their inner lives and to make themselves radically available to their communities for spiritual counsel. Committing themselves to remaining in a single dwelling for the rest of their lives, they were known as anchorites; the houses in which they lived were their anchorholds. Those who needed what the official channels of the religious establishment couldn’t provide came to the anchorhold for conversation and support.

Neither priests nor monks, the spiritual practice of anchorites and their interaction with those who came to them fell outside formal control of the Church. As a result, religious authorities often viewed them with suspicion. One of the best known of these dropouts from ordinary social and religious norms was Julian of Norwich, a woman who had a near-death experience in 1373 and spent the rest of her life thinking about what it meant, for herself and for the world at large. The book she wrote about her revelation, the first in English that we know for sure was written in by a woman, is an astonishingly daring and original rethinking of Christian theology: a vision of a God in whom there is no wrath, who is both Father and Mother of Creation, and who will somehow, by a miracle beyond our ability to grasp, eventually effect the salvation of every living being.

Men and women of spirit who fell between the cracks, anchorites practiced what in its own way was a profoundly queer inner life, following the instincts of their own experience, flying under the radar of the powers that claimed to control access to the Divine.